Hanging out with your teenage son is like hanging out with his dad. And when you're divorced that can feel complicated.

His stance. His mannerisms. His voice. They're all right there.

And all I can think is, "Damn, I chose well."

If you know his dad, you can see it plain as day when you zoom in on this photo. He IS his dad in so many ways. And I'm so fucking proud of him.

For women who don't have amicable (or worse) relationships with their kids' dads, I can imagine how much this must hurt. And their boys will feel that pain. And denying the existence of that pain or any male pain is how things are done within a patriarchy and that’s wrong.

I'm currently reading The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by the feminist writer Bell Hooks.

Being in right relationship with the masculine is my focus right now, especially for my son’s sake.

If you’re interested in joining me in the exploration of your relationship with the divine masculine while being surrounded by aligned feminine friendship, sign up here.

You’re a mother raising boys or girls: How do you show that you love maleness?

How do you model this for your son or daughter?

How do you honor your son for his traits of provider, protector, and leader?

Do you perpetuate a story of masculine lack?

“To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being. When we love maleness, we extend our love whether males are performing or not.”

— Bell Hooks: The Will to Change